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Well... I am getting my boy into the PACE program. It's a hardcore intensive intervention to help his brain process things easier. He'll work 3 hours one on one with a coach at the facility and then 3 hours at home. (Might have to get in on this one myself).

I heard from his teacher yesterday and he said that my boy is taking initiative. That in all of the three years he has known him, that this is the best semester he has had. Thank you Son-rise.

You see... when shit goes down, you can either lower your standards for what you want, or actually make every attempt to meet them. I've lowered my standards for me across the board and guess what? It feels like shit.

That's not who I am. I don't settle. I don't take no for an answer. If you tell me no, I tell you goodbye. It's that simple. I do believe with all of my heart that if there is a will there is a way. Absolutely 100%.

Those feelings of frustration and powerlessness are gifts. Those feelings help you to take action. They are a signal, a cue. A RED FLAG! Taking action is power. It really is..

I had a few days of suffering last week... Here's what suffering is:  It is self-created attachment to the thought of how you thought things would be or should be. It is self-created resistance about what actually is. You can suffer all you want.. it's your choice. OR... you can accept the way things are.. which means COME TO TERMS with the way things are and then take action (power) to change them if desired. In other words: Quit your crying and do something about it!

That is what I am doing. I am changing our lives. I love our lives as it is... but I want to feel like I am contributing in a meaningful way. I have been crying on and on about this forever it seems. Sniffle sniffle boo hoo. So THANK GOD I got this wake up call that moved me into self-action and brought me to the absolute opportunity of a lifetime to enter the military.

I hate to speak too soon because my success depends on actually qualifying. They have to deem me fit to fight in every way. Mentally, physically, intellectually.  This is NOT a sure thing.

The only SURE thing is that I want this with all of me. I want this more than the Olympia. Do you hear me? The Olympia would be sweet. The Olympia would be nice.. I would get a kick out of it. BUT THIS IS ME.
This is where I belong and THIS is what I want to be doing.

I believe I can. I believe I would make an excellent Officer. I love to lead, I am a visionary, and I do best when structured. To me structure IS freedom.

Anyway.. if you hunt for my blogs or website, they are MIA. I got an image to uphold and there may just be a little too much skin. May make everyone just a little bit uncomfortable if you know what I mean.

So... have a nice day. Remember that funky mood, those winter blahs, that downright suffering is a GIFT to you to TAKE ACTION. Listen to it and follow your heart.

~C.