Government

Well I learned a lot about government that I wasn't interested in whatsoever when I went to grade school. My son asked me to help him study for a big social studies test. THIS IS GOOD. This is good, because he is taking initiative. This is good because typically when I help him study all he really wants is me to do it for him. Not yesterday though.. my boy actually got in the arena and for that we celebrate. We celebrate effort!

So what is success?

It depends.

Where are you coming from and where are you going. Success to me is playing the game... getting in the arena no matter what the outcome. Success is striving. Success is having the faith and tenacity to continue on even when the outcome is not guaranteed. Success is risking your pride. It's knowing that in the end even if the outcome isn't what you originally wanted... that the game was still worth playing.

Perfectionists are the real cowards. This took me a long time to realize. Managing my environment so that I was certain to come out on top. It usually worked too. This strategy to life is also a major factor in maintaining my smallness.  If you want to be the biggest version of yourself, then you are going to have to stretch yourself, reach outside your comfort zone and grow. Go ahead and get comfortable being uncomfortable.. for that is the nature of the game of going big or going home.

I admire my son. He is stretching. He is risking his pride. He is growing into a fine young man.  I told him that I wanted him to have the pick of life's litter. I told him that we have four years left before he graduates from school. A LOT can happen in four years... if you MAKE it happen.  I am determined to MAKE it happen for him...  as long as he is open and willing. My boy knows what's best for him, and his life. He's leading his show and I am the facilitator to a life imagined by him.

Anyway... enough rambling. I haven't had any stress eating issues in the last few days since I actually got off my ass and started doing something about these things that cluttered my mind instead of stewing on them.

Not saying that I won't stress eat tomorrow or the next day... I actually have no idea. All I can do is say that I am committed to overcoming it altogether and transcend my current self.

~C.